“Girl, what’s new?! Haven’t heard from you in weeks, how are things?” an old friend says to me over a phone call. “Everything’s good,” I tell her, “I’m back in school doing a doctoral program.”
“A doctorate?! Wadaya gonna do with that!?”
What am I going to do with that? Like it’s a lost puppy or some sort of foreign object. It’s not the first time I get asked this question. What am I going to do with a doctorate? What am I going to do with this education, these skills, this knowledge I’ve chosen to venture into? Well, the first thing I’m going to do is buy a very expensive frame and hang up the $60,000 piece of paper that's for sure.
Secondly, “Hell ya!! I’m gonna have you call me Dr. Ayon!”
That’s the other question I get asked, “So does this mean we’re gonna have to call you Dr.?” Pfftt, give credit where credit is due sista!!
Going back to that question though, what am I going to do with it? Ten years ago, I would’ve excitingly said, “I’m working towards becoming a Dean of Student Services in a community college” or “I’m working towards building a non-profit for foster youth to acquire much needed resources after they emancipate” or some other dream of working for and helping the community. I had a specific career goal and the doctorate was going to help me get there.
I've come to realize that it’s not so much what I’m going to do with it as what it will do for me and my development in the next three years. As living creatures, we learn everyday. We learn how to, what to, when to, where to do things. I feel I’ve been stagnant for the last 8 years and at times I've lost my way. I've reverted to a safe place of just doing and doing it well. Loss of jobs, loss of relationships, and a disillusion of life have contributed to my "just being" state. The "Yes sir!" mentality.
I’ve often revisited my values, my goals, and most importantly my purpose in life whenever the "going got tough." The going is getting tough again in many aspects of my life, and I'm reaching inside and looking within the program for help. One of our first assignments in the program was to choose a song and a symbol. I chose a tree as my symbol and Superwoman from Alicia Keys as my song. The tree symbolizes strength because even through wind, rain, hail, and snow storms, trees continue to stand tall. I’ve weathered my share of storms and I’m still standing (5’9” to be exact). As for the song, take a listen and you'll understand. I would’ve chosen La Chona but I don’t think my old-as-dirt Caucasian professors would understand it and I don't want to translate it.
Ultimately, what am I going to do with it? Well, I know that’s it’s not about the three letters behind your name. It’s about the essence of the person. My desires have always been to help, motivate and inspire young people. Specifially, help those who don't have a voice, those who have been marginalized and left out to dry (I feel like this now). No, you're not going to have to call me Dr., but I hope that in the end I served my purpose in your world.
My question to you is what are YOU going to do? If not you, then who? If not now, then when? How are you continuing to develop yourself for the betterment of your community and those around you? What have you done to leave your mark in this world?
