Where's my rally monkey!!!

I am lacking motivation. I wish there was a pill you could pop to fill you with energy to write, read, understand and make sense of everything.  (screaming) I DO NOT WANT TO DO IT anymooooooooooore!!

Ok. That felt good. I just had to hear myself say it, pull some hair out, and break a few dishes. I take it back. I do want to do this, but there is a small voice in my head questioning my motives and another little bug sucking the energy out of me.  I need to burn some sage and get a limpia to cleanse my soul of bad energy.

Our January practicum is a few days away, marking our half-way point.  The last year and a half has flown by and I can just imagine this next year and a half will go by even quicker. I am anxious to see the finish line --- impossible at this point!! 

I should know this being a half marathon runner.  Mile 6 is usually when I get my first sip of water and gel shot.  The half way mark means nothing to me except I need to run another arduous 6 miles to finish.  Right around mile 8 I begin to ask myself, “Why did I sign up for this? This was a stupid idea!”  Then around mile 10 I say, “No turning back and don’t slow down! What were you thinking signing up to run 13.1 miles?!” I beat myself up psychologically the last 6 miles.

I’m taking my sip of water and my gel shot and continuing this journey.  The easy part was starting this program the difficult part will be following through and finishing.  I am having feelings of anxiety and pressure. 

I am anxious and pressured to get this done and I have to remind myself I am in control of this journey. There is no need for anxiety and no need to feel pressured.  There is no need to beat myself up psychologically.

I have a concept paper to write, a spring research project to look forward to and all I can think about is I wish I were in Hawaii with a mai tai in hand, Hawaiian music in the background, and time stood still around the sunset.

PEACE, LOVE, and GOD BLESS!!